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                      The city lies

                      時間:2015-11-26    閱讀:1184 次   

                      從來沒有那么恨過一個城市。

                      從來沒有為了愛情而瘋狂,好久未曾收拾的頭發,眼睛已經遮住。

                      第一次踏進那個城市,我以為腳下的路是如此美麗,后來我才知道原來我就是那個所謂的傻根,我就是那個城市的犧牲者。

                      在那個烏煙瘴氣的網吧,我開始了我生命里的劫,忘記了是怎樣從家里跑出來,拼命的跑出來,可是也不過還是在那個省,沒有離開省。

                      在那個北方陷進去的城市,我把自己陷了進去,我陷進去了自己的未來。我陷進去了自己未來的生命。我一文不值了。

                      我找到了他,也注定了我一生隨他的追逐。我馬不停蹄的追逐他的腳步,卻還是被他甩的遠遠的。( 文章閱讀網:www.onnd5.com )

                      一個星期,花光了身上出來帶的錢。和他整夜游蕩在這個迷離的城市里。和他做著游戲。只是我們都明白,我們都是在玩一場場游戲,只是他不知道我是真的陷進去這場游戲,在這場風花雪月的游戲里我注定是一個失敗者。而他卻永遠是感情世界里的勝利者。

                      我曾經幻想著我們的生活,他牽著我的手,在這個城市里呼吸古老的氣息,在這個城市里聞著城市的清香。可是我卻太天真了,那不過是一場夢。

                      當無數個夜里我抱著自己的身體寂寞的入眠的時候,我知道他又開始了他新的風花雪月的故事,只是主角不是我,而是換了一個風塵女子。

                      我知道我再也不會陪在他身邊,在這場無謂的愛情故事里,我是一個徹頭徹尾的失敗者。

                      我們也有過情話,也有過小小的幸福,也有過奢侈的幸福。

                      我們在樓底下的奶茶店。你坐在我的對面,我就靜靜的看著你白白的臉,看著你的輪廓,我沉迷在其中。可是現在的我像一灘爛泥一樣的坐在奶茶店里抽著五塊錢一盒的劣質煙,煙味刺鼻,可是我喜歡這樣的感覺,仿佛只有這樣才可以證明我是真真實實的存在著。

                      睡覺前我習慣用手放在鼻子傷聞著自己的呼吸,這樣證明我是一個真真實實的存在。

                      記得我們第一次進奶茶店的時候,放的的《簡單浪漫》,我最后一次坐在那里的時候,放的是《最后一刻才明白》。聽著我就是如此的難受,

                      我不知道最后一次我在桌子上趴了多久,趴的我都忘記了,麻木的拿出播放器,聽著自己也不明白的英文歌曲,

                      我對面的位置空空如也。我的淚在那一刻還是不爭氣的流了下來。我曾經用了自己的生命去哎,現在換來的什么也沒有。

                      就連這些椅子都無法證明我們曾經的存在。

                      現在的朋友對我很好,好的不行,我真怕別人會以為我們是同性戀。我想帶她去奶茶店,她說那里太冷清。她總是一針見血的說穿我的性質。

                      中午的時候又去了,對面的位置一直是空的。我依舊聽著英文歌。抽著一成不變的劣質煙。

                      以后還是回去奶茶店的,可是對面的位置還要空多久?我不知道。

                      我喝玫瑰味的奶茶。

                      那里很好,你陪我去好么。

                      我喜歡站在房子里的窗臺邊,看著城市的燈火絢爛。只是那些與我無關。抬頭看著愈加黑的天空,似乎成了我的習慣。

                      寂寞也許是證明一個人存在的最好方式。

                      無法睡覺的晚上,我都回想提起他,說不定會惡作劇般的從背后擁著我。但是我知道那僅僅是我的臆想。

                      這個失眠的夜里,習慣的用雙手擁著自己,這樣才不會冷了吧。

                      我喜歡凌晨5點的時候走在大街上,路燈還沒有熄滅,城市開始了一天的忙碌。我的寂寞蔓延。

                      這一切只是一個開始。

                      The end。

                      散文網首發:http://www.onnd5.com/sanwen/598287.html

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                      如果您有更多好的建議,請與我們聯系: Email:2771795825#qq.com(#替換@)
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